If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
