why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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