sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
