I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
