i was rollin on her like bob the builder
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
