Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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