I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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