we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
