why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
