dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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