I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
