Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
