last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just found a bag of teeth...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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