Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize