covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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