So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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