Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my poor anus
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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