I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
