I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
