Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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