I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
