I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
