you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
