Are we in a gay sports bar?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
