you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
