is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
