No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
