Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
