peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize