he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
