Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
