garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
