Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
soo... how was my night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize