I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
pray to the hookup gods
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