Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
