yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Two words: nipple clamps
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