I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
