I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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