dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
