for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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