You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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