I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
