she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no, he came in my armpit
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
