Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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