I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Shame - the story of my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize