you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
