i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In other news, I just burned my penis
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
