He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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