Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
