The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
