Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He? As in you personified your dick?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
