ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
