when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
only if we run a train.
done.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
