it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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