hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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