You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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