U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize