wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
