she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
