I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
