The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
