He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
