Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
