ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
