Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Come back. Shots need mouths.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
