I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
