I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize