Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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