Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
