the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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