I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
