Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
