She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize