nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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