youre lurking in front of me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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