i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
