This girl is more easily done than said...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
