ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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