When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
