Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize