i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
