i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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