Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
