dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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