I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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