I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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