her vagine was all disorganized.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize