Christians are straight up FREAKS
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
