Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
